Because We're Young
by Heaven And Above
Summary: In which Sirius deals with feelings for Moony, James doesn't know how to keep chasing Lily, Remus is worried about everyone, Lily has some admitting to do and Peter is just glad that he's (not?) in the middle of it all. Wolfstar (Remus/Sirius), slash. Side James/Lily. Marauder era.
1. Reading You Reading a Book

Sirius watched Remus' lean body sprawled out on the armchair, a book in his hands, eyes caressing the pages with some sort of special softness and love reserved only for those damned bundles of inked paper.

More so, it was that muggle book, the red one Remus seemed to love the most.

Sirius had seen it in between the slender fingers more times than he had wanted to, most of them it was opened somewhere near the middle as the golden eyes ran over the same page time after time soaking it in.

 _What in the world was so interesting?_

These times, when Sirius tried to read Remus reading that evil book, were the only times Sirius spent more than five minutes completely still.

Maybe it was the strand of dirty blonde hair, the one that would usually drive Remus crazy as he pushed it back time after time, that was left hanging over his eyes forgotten. Maybe it was the relaxed body, more feline than anything. Maybe it was the peaceful expression that, while it was so very rare on the face usually adorned by cutely scrunched eyebrows, was very becoming. Maybe it was the slight bite of the lower lip.

See, Sirius measured Moony's concentration level on a scale that went roughly from what he liked to imagine being 'Yes, Sirius, oh please talk to me more, as you are secretly more important to me than everyone else' to ' Do not disturb if you like your limbs attached to your body'.

The lower lip bite measured in at about 'Sirius, I will tear you to pieces in your sleep if you try to distract me'.

So Sirius tried his best not to. He just observed, sitting on the ground by the fireplace as the rain beat against the windows and people came and went murmuring quietly.

It was like clockwork, every Sunday Remus would lay himself out in the armchair with a book and Sirius would _very inconspicuously_ slink down and find himself a place from which he didn't look like a creep watching Moony.

It was like a case study.

Sirius promised himself that he was doing this for scientific reasons.

Obviously, he would write a book on werewolf reading habits right after graduation.

A right bestseller it would be.

Even James and Peter would only give him sceptical looks when he left them in the middle of something just to sit there and hibernate with his eyes on Moony.

In short, Sirius chose to spend time pondering why Remus turned pages quicker or slower and why he caressed the covers like the skin of a lover.

Keeping in mind his attention span that was rather short, even Sirius himself had to admit that his behaviour was... atypical. But no one bothered him about it and Moony didn't seem to even notice, so it was fine... he was fine.

* * *

James was annoying the lights out of Remus.

"But whyyy?"Potter whined and Remus rubbed his temples, putting his book down in his lap.

The guy was jumping up and down on his knees in front of him on Remus' bed.

They had long since abandoned all ideas of personal space, but sometimes, at times like this in particular, Remus wished that they would have some kind of unwritten rule about never crossing the 'curtain line'.

They didn't though, and he now had an overexcited Prongs, inching closer with a puppy dog expression.

"James, no. It's a terrible idea. I'm not helping."He said strictly and looked the bloke dead in the eye with all the resolve in the world.

Puppy dog eyes or no, the idea was idiotic.

Even by James' standards.

"But- "James pouted and tilted his head to the side.

It might have been adorable to the 'Potter Fanclub' but to Remus he just looked slightly constipated.

"Look, I think she's starting to come around with you being all mellow lately. Why don't you try keeping it up?"

"I'm having withdrawals, Moony. It's terrible!" James wailed and threw his head on Remus' lap, knocking the book to the ground in the process.

"Ja-!"Remus tried to protest.

"I can't! I need to do something! A serenade! A poem! A banner! Cupids dancing and singing her favourite song! Which just by the way-" James flailed his arms.

"Is 'Here Comes the Sun'. So you've told us, Prongs." Remus finished for him and tried to push him away failing as James seemed rather comfortable lying on his back, using Remus' crossed legs as a pillow, his body spread and relaxed even though his arms were flailing to portray extreme dramatics.

"I'm addicted and I can't stop telling her how much I love her! Feel this! I'm shivering from the lack of drug that is my eternal love!" James grabbed his hand and pressed it against his cheek.

Remus wasn't sure what exactly he was supposed to 'feel' because the skin simply felt warm and slightly clammy with sweat to him. Surely that was not what 'eternal love withdrawals' felt like.

"James, even with your knack for theatrics, don't you think that it would be far more beneficial to be… well you know?" Remus said softly, giving up. He leaned back and crossed his arms, looking into the upturned hazel eyes of his friend.

"No, I don't know." James frowned looking puzzled.

"Be…subtle." Remus breathed out heavily.

He really wished Potter and Evans all the best, he did. But as the unfortunate confidant of both parties he would usually find himself in the front lines of war. This year had so far been a rather calm one, but from the look in James' eyes he was beginning to wonder whether it was simply the eye of the storm.

"Moony!" James gasped scandalized, "You know we don't mention that word!"

Despite his best efforts Remus couldn't fully hide the small smile, pulling at the corners of his lips.

That moment the door of their dorm opened and Sirius walked in with his eyes on the ground and one hand in his pocket.

As his eyes travelled up he stopped.

"Oh hey, Moo-" He started but the greeting drifted off as his gaze took James in. He stared at them weirdly for a bit. Lips set into a harsh straight line. "Um?"

"Prongs here, insists he has a plan to end all plans. He is wooing Evans for real this time." Remus explained sarcastically, moving his legs as to shake James off, but the bloke didn't budge.

"Stop moving, Moony, you absolutely fail at being a pillow." Prongs complained.

"Oh no. Whatever am I going to do? Well you better get off then and let me work on my skills a bit more until you let that magnificent head of yours descend upon my lap again." Remus agreed and Sirius gave him a small smile of amusement whilst moving to sit down on his own bed.

The smile was off. Remus made a mental note to ask what was wrong later.

"Nah, you'll do for now. I don't really want to move." James replied and there was some kind of mischievous undertone to his voice.

"An honor. I assure you." Remus retorted flatly.

"So what's this plan to end all plans?" Sirius interjected rather coldly.

"Fireworks." James grinned. "Lots of them. Singing. About my beautiful, amazing, incredible, lovely-"

"About Evans." Remus cut him short rolling his eyes.

"Yes." James agreed.

"Not really anything all that different from the norm." Sirius cocked his head to the side with a sceptical raise of his eyebrow.

"He left out a small little detail." Remus grunted. "He wants the grand finale to be fireworks exploding like paint over every single wall in the castle, painting Lily's face on all of them. He says the castle needs a makeover."

"A lot of work." Sirius hummed immediately and it made Remus think that James was not the only one being rather...mellow this year.

Sirius was not his loud self either. Well not _quite_ as loud as usual.

Remus had attributed this to the lack of negative influence as James was too preoccupied with his Head Boy duties, which, according to him, required his constant communication with Lily (stalking, others called it stalking), but he was beginning to see that maybe it was something slightly more subtle than that.

"All great things are." James replied.

"If only you applied that attitude to other areas of your life. Like, oh I don't know, studying." Remus said with a small smirk.

"When there's love at question, who cares about studying? Have you no heart?" James sighed dramatically, throwing one hand up against his forehead.

"My heart's quite fine, thank you. Not even the iceberg you imagine it being." Remus defended.

"Then, Moony, you must understand that there is absolutely nothing worse than being unable to tell the person you love how you feel." James nodded ardently.

"I can think of a few things." Remus shrugged.

"Like being shot down and hated." Sirius murmured and James and Remus' heads snapped to him.

The atmosphere grew heavy.

Sirius' cheeks coloured as the guy looked away with a cautious expression.

 _Oh, wow, Sirius was..._

Remus' eyebrows narrowed with worry.

Just when Remus was about to open his mouth to ask him what was wrong James snorted at Sirius.

"Still better than not saying anything at all. At least you get the answer and can try again from thereon."

"Or you screw things up beyond repair." Sirius argued.

"Fine. Let's all just sit in silence. How the hell people get together at all then?" James huffed.

Remus' darted between his friends and he noted that this conversation was obviously hitting close to home for them both and was about to turn into a full-blown argument which really didn't happen all that often.

He felt the tension between them and couldn't comprehend where it came from.

He patted Jame's shoulder lightly.

"Look, I'm not saying that you should keep silent. Just... you've been trying things your way since fourth year, how about you try things...her way." Remus muttered giving his friend a caring smile.

James froze looking into Remus' eyes for a moment.

He then sighed and got up walking over to his own bed.

"Fineee."He huffed. "I'll think about it."

Remus turned to Sirius, who offered him a feeble smile. The tension was still in the stern line of the bloke's shoulders and so Remus didn't respond with a smile of his own.

Instead he reached out to the floor, stretching to reach his book and picked it up.

Sirius' eyes followed the movement making Remus feel slightly uncomfortable. For whatever reason he couldn't phantom.

"Can I borrow that?" Padfoot said out of nowhere.

"Huh?" Remus breathed confused.

"The book- I need something like that for Muggle Studies." Sirius nodded towards the 'Collected Works of Poetry'.

Remus saw James' head snap in their direction with his peripheral vision.

Remus knew that James never understood why Sirius had taken Muggle Studies in the first place. Remus' inkling was that it was just another small thing to annoy the pureblood parental units.

"This... uh...it's my favourite." Remus whispered softly in silent terror of what was going to be done with it.

"I'm just going to read it; your baby will be fine." Sirius teased a smirk spreading on his lips, grey eyes dancing with mirth.

"Read it?" Remus repeated slowly.

Sirius pouted and glared.

"I can read."

"Really?" Slipped off of Remus' tongue without permission and he gave Sirius an apologetic look. "I mean I thought it was your goal to get through school without reading one thing."

"Goals change." Sirius muttered defensively.

"Uh...it's fragile."Remus murmured clutching his prized possession in his hand.

"I'll take care of it." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Stingy, Moony, oh so stingy."

"Look, the last time-"

"It's not going to be like the last time. I promise." Sirius pulled out his best pleading expression.

For some reason Padfoot's tricks worked wonders on him. Always. James could get on his knees and smoulder him all the cuteness in the world and Remus would shoot him down in a millisecond.

But not Padfoot.

Looking so innocent and honest (though Remus knew better).

"Oh...okay. Just-"Remus agreed hesitantly.

"It will come back to you in perfect condition." Sirius cut him off.

Remus extended the book to Sirius, still having second thoughts, and the guy stood up to take it.

"Seventh year at Hogwarts." James chuckled. " _Sirius Black takes an interest in poetry_."

"It's for-" Sirius said quickly.

"Muggle Studies. Sure." James laughed and shook his head turning to rummage through his drawers.

Sirius stood there turning red.


	2. Confrontation

Next morning, Tuesday, Sirius watched Peter stumble out of bed searching with puffy sleep deprived eyes for his clothes which always ended up scattered around the floor.

Sirius had recently been folding his own clothes and picking up after himself.

So it annoyed him.

Moony hated living in a mess, so would it really have killed Peter to not leave his things all over?

Sirius let his eyes trace the door, waiting for Remus to come out of the bathroom so that he could go in. Then his gaze slipped to the slim red book lying next to his wand on the nightstand.

Sirius rubbed his temples feeling his chest tighten painfully.

"Where's James?" Peter asked snapping Sirius out of the trance like state.

"Dunno. Was already out when I woke up." He answered shrugging.

"Weird."Peter mumbled back.

And it was. Usually they would have to drag James out of bed by force on weekdays.

And, speak of the devil, James came in, fresh and clean with his uniform in perfect condition and a sullen look on his face.

"You're up mighty early." Peter commented.

"Yeah, when did you wake up anyway?" Sirius added, combing his messy hair with his fingers, trying to get it to lie at least half down.

"Six. Okay, five maybe." James muttered flatly walking over to his bedside table and starting to sort through the textbooks and papers.

There were not many things that could keep James up at night to Sirius knowledge.

Actually there were just a select few. Moony, pranks, and Evans.

Moony and pranks were not it today.

"This about Evans?" Sirius asked.

James stopped, dropped his head down and sighed.

Yes. Evans.

Sirius observed his friend and felt bad for him. Usually they would play everything off. Brush it aside with a joke or two. Lately neither Sirius nor James could.

Not because something was broken between them. It was just that before at least one of them would genuinely be in a good mood and pull the other along.

This here, the air vibrating with weight which seemed to caving in on them, making their knees buckle, was not something either of them knew how to deal with.

"I don't really want to talk about it." James hummed.

"Look, it'll be fine. Just do what Moony says and-" Sirius responded trying to calm James.

"And what if that doesn't work. I can't. I can't do it simply and with a serious expression. That way a rejection would not feel like a joke either." James whispered under his breath.

And Sirius wanted to offer some kind of advice or maybe even a solution. But he couldn't.

The tightness in his chest squeezed harder as he realised that he was not in the position to tell others what to do.

"James-"He said slowly.

"Don't push it, okay?" James didn't let him finish and maybe it was for the better as he didn't know what he was about to say. "Don't push me or I'll start asking you about your sudden interest in poetry." Prongs hummed and looked up with a hint of a teasing smirk.

Sirius felt his cheeks begin to flame.

"Muggle-"

"-Studies are doing muggle machinery at the moment." James responded.

Sirius sat there with his jaw agape, silently imitating a fish looking for a reasonable excuse.

Unfortunately, Remus chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom, clean shaven in his white undershirt and uniform pants, all wiry muscled arms and ruffled golden hair, looking like rainy Sunday mornings, cosy fireplace warmth and sex dreams.

"All yours." He nodded at Sirius with a small friendly smile.

And Sirius snapped his mouth shut repeating to himself like a mantra.

 _Not what he meant. No, not mine. Not mine. Not mine._

He clenched his jaw and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah, thanks." Sirius mumbled and slinked into the bathroom not meeting James' eyes and doing his best not to let his gaze stray to Moony.

* * *

"You okay, James?" Remus asked watching him push food around the plate at breakfast.

"Uh-huh." James grunted.

"It's not because I refused to help you with your plan?" Remus tilted his head frowning.

"Nah. I'm 'ait." James shook his head.

But Remus knew James wasn't "'ait", speaking of which neither was Sirius, currently chewing a piece of toast slowly staring at the table as if it had the answers to the universe.

"You sure?" Remus asked James bringing his eyes back.

"Yeah." James nodded not even looking at him.

Oh, great.

Well, at the very least Peter was just fine munching scrambled eggs with healthy ardour and love in his eyes.

Remus decided that he needed to talk to Lily. He had once promised himself not to intervene but this was getting ridiculous. James was not shovelling food into his mouth- the end was near.

Remus also felt an uneasy lump in his throat when he looked at Sirius.

The questions that pushed one another around all wanting to come out at the same time were shoved right back by the weird feeling that this conversation with Sirius was better left until later when he managed to get the bloke alone.

Instead Remus just pushed a cup of tea towards him and gave him a small reassuring smile.

He was met with averted eyes and the lump in his throat got bigger.

A great sunny day this was shaping up to be.

* * *

Lily was sitting in the library at the desk after the classes were over minding her own business.

She really was.

When in stormed Remus with a determined look in his eyes and stopped right in front of her, simply staring.

She stared back, unsure if in the cases of sudden staring ambush one says hello or if the etiquette was different.

"We're talking about James." Remus said finally and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest.

Lily felt her eyebrows rise.

"What has he done this time?" She grumbled.

"Nothing. We're talking about _James."_ Remus repeated this time adding much more meaning to his friend's name.

"Okay?" Lily responded slightly confused.

"You and I are going to have this conversation and you don't have anywhere to run. I _cornering you._ Do I make myself clear?" Remus said his eyes flashing with warning. And Lily thought that interrogation might just be a possible career path for him.

"Uh. Okay, I guess." She responded putting her quill down to the side. Was it bad that she wanted to flee?

"Good." Remus nodded. "Do you like him?"

Lily almost choked. No sugar coating apparently.

She tried to compose herself under the fiery stare that Remus was examining her with.

"Uh...um...you know how it is with him." She hummed hesitantly.

"How is it with him?" Remus pressed his lips into a line.

"He's... well he's Potter, Remus, what do you expect me to say?" Lily grumbled slightly aggravated.

"So you...like him?" Remus tried carefully.

Oh, Merlin, why did boys never take a hint?

"No...he's just...annoying. Pompous. Craves attention." Lily sighed.

"Right." Remus replied simply and looked up at the ceiling solemnly. "So you dislike him?" he asked after some time.

"Well, no-" Lily answered all too quickly and stopped herself. "Look, I have no feelings for Potter. None. Whatsoever. He's not as annoying as he was last year and I'm glad. Good for him."

Remus brought his gaze back to her eyes. He had this penetrating type of stare that made her think that he could see every little part of her, even the dark corners of her she herself wasn't too familiar with.

Remus Lupin could be mighty scary sometimes. In a calm inconspicuous way.

"Okay, then." He nodded. "I see."

But Lily had a feeling this was not over.

Or maybe some little part of her didn't want it to be over, because she felt like she just did something very wrong.

Why? No idea in the slightest.

"Alright then, Lily. Alright." Remus repeated more to himself than to her. "I want you to think it over again."

"I told you I want nothing to do with-"

"And that would be perfectly fine." Remus nodded interrupting her and his soothing baritone was driving her crazy for some odd reason. "But I want to make one thing clear to you. A few more times at most. He's going to try a few more times. But even James can only take that many blows and he _will_ stop."

Lily gulped unsure of why she felt like a child being scolded. This was just Remus.

"And then you will leave school and move on. Both of you. He might not like the idea now, but he will meet someone, who will see him for the warm kind-hearted person that he actually is when you take away all the _mischief_ and the _theatrics,"_ Remus smiled softly his voice ringing with indulgence and affection. "And he will forget you. He will realise that he did all he could and he will forget you. A fond memory of that girl he used to fancy back in his school days. That is what you will be."

Lily shifted in her chair, feeling that it was suddenly very uncomfortable somehow. The library air felt suffocating and cold.

"And because I want him to be happy, I think that if you really don't like him you need to talk to him right now. So that he can start moving on. On the other hand, and I'm saying this because I care about you too, if there's even a sliver of affection in there somewhere," Remus gestured vaguely in her direction. "You need to stop denying it and pushing and pulling him just because he always bounces back. No more snogging other blokes, no more nose-in-the-air-I-don't-even-see-you attitude, no more 'oh, how I hate Potter'. You are hurting one hell of an amazing person, which would be reasonable if you didn't like him, since you then wouldn't owe him anything. But if you do like him, Lily, this is your heads up- you will kick yourself in the future. And there won't be a thing that you can do. And I will not even try to help you."

The numb expression Lily knew she was sporting was met with an unrelenting stare that held her locked in some weird state of shock.

Then, as if nothing happened, Remus switched back to the usual calm smile.

"Glad we talked."

Lily's jaw dropped.

The library's door opened.


End file.
